Sweet Affection.

Looking at the people who've stepped into my life, especially in recent times, I have come to realise how much God has moulded and touched my life in more ways than one.

I said goodbye to yet another friend as he stepped into the jaws of Changi Airport. I barely had 6 hours to spend with him, after 6 months of not having seen him, after 6 weeks of becoming close friends. But it was sweet of him to drop by on transit nevertheless.

As we exchanged hugs at the departure gate, I realised that from a person who once shunned emotional exchanges and did not know how to express my affections, I have been able to more freely do so today. It is thanks to the sweetest people that God has brought into my life, whose warmth can move the coldest heart.

I don't know if these sweet people know who they are. But they have surely made an impact in my life, in ways they cannot fathom. Even though I know that one day I might have to say goodbye, even though our goodbyes might mean long absences from each other, I'm just glad to have all of you in my life. Thank you for the love. I love you.

It was that simple, huh?

I think it's true. That sometimes we tend to choose to eat ourselves up by holding certain things against ourselves when the Father has already promised to take away stuff that holds us down, such as guilt or things which haven't exactly gone right because Jesus has died on the cross for our sins and is victorious.

After that incident, I realised I had wanted to avoid hearing from God. My spirit wanted to know what God thought about the entire incident. Yet my flesh was afraid of being disciplined. I did not want to know what I had done wrong. I did not want to know what my failings were. I did not want to know that I had failed. I had tried to ignore Him as much as I could.

But you know what? I realised I really couldn't keep away from His presence long. I was just walking around some place alone one day. And started my ramblings to God. Then I mused to myself, "I can't avoid you for long, can I, Lord?" I was still clueless about what I was to get out of it, but I really couldn't stand being kept apart from my Lord.

I believe God's timing is perfect. Because I was not able to dwell on the incident long when I went off again, away from here. And He reminded me so much about excellence and I was able to share my experience fresh from my mind. I never felt condemned by my God even when I was reminded of the event. Instead, it was more a motivation. I had been discouraged. But I am not about to quit like a sissy. God. You hear me. I want to press on. To lead a life of excellence for you and you alone.

And it's as though everything's over and done with. It's that simple. No one's bringing it up again. But I must have a debrief. The comm did a great job. Wonder how they feel about the event as well. I am still learning. Please be patient with me as I learn, Lord. I am but a silly old thing.

And just for remembrance sake. This was how beautiful it looked on that day, just as it was about to rain.

Winning Team, Losing Team.

It's ironically funny how things always turn out to be this way. I am trying to be objective about the entire matter but I don't know where all this is heading. I'm confused. Tired. Lost. I know what I should do next but I can't see what will come out of it. I just want to be a coward for as long as I can be.

Recollection.

As the summer break reaches it's midpoint, I suddenly realise that about the same time last year, I was preparing for 4 months away from home, to adventure in a foreign land. I remember that I was unwilling to leave the people who were dear to me, yet at the bottom of my heart, I knew that at the end of it, I would probably be unwilling to leave that foreign land.

I guess I was right.

And the Lord has certainly blessed me right from the start of the trip, from the warmth of having family close by, to the warmth of strangers turned friends, even close friends. From feeling slightly lost in an alien land, to being eager and excited to explore other alien lands like Boston and Chicago. God, You have been amazing. I may not always understand why certain things happened the way they have. I may not have done as much as I could have and made the most of such an opportunity, but I must say that God, You have been good. Lord, You are faithful and I love You from the bottom of my heart.

I am a wee bit melancholic, to recall those memories that are so etched in my mind. Bitter-sweet sort of feeling as usual. My heart skips a beat, thinking of those friends whom I love dearly but whom are not able to be close by me physically. Sometimes I wonder if I'm clinging on to a friendship based on past memories. Yet, I know that that is hardly true. And though we hardly see each other, either virtually or even less so, face to face, I believe that we have a sort of friendship that is quietly present and able to carry on exactly where we leave off. And no matter where they are, they are in my prayers, in my heart.

Ahh. I do miss them so. Kingston, Kingston, I miss you so too!

GDOP 2006

Global Day of Prayer 2006. Wow. The word 'global' just gives me the chills. Imagine. All of the world praying. On the same day. For their own nation, for the nations around. Reminds me of what was once said during an economic geography lecture on globalisation. Though the debate on a whether globalisation has led to a world without borders remains, one thing is undebatable and that is that the presence of God transcends boundaries and can flow into any and every space.

Indeed, that is true. Thank You Holy Spirit, for Your presence there tonight. It was amazing just looking at the masses of people just lifting their hands in sincere worship to You. For You are worthy to be praised. You made the heavens and the earth and all creation declares Your glory.

Worshipping You under the sky was an awesome experience. It was as though we were practising to worship You like how we would in heaven, just to raise our hands as high as we can to glorify the One who deserves the highest praise. A glimpse of the heavens. With the wonderful colours. The shadows the clouds make with the setting of the sun. Wow.

There is great power in unity. There is also great power in praying in unity. And it's nice to know you're listening to every prayer. Including the prayer of that sweet taxi driver - Mr Ho Shen Quek. Another sweet person who has touched my life.

He gave us a free ride to the national stadium - venue for GDOP. He was a fellow Christian and promised to stop his cab to pray when we started praying at that national stadium. As he pulled up there, he said, "I'm giving you all a lift. It's free. God bless." There are those times where people do it out of some sort of reward (be it praise of men or to chalk up brownie points in heaven) but I can always tell apart a sincere, honest, humble voice. And such a voice belonged to Mr Ho Shen Quek. I was so blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you! You've made my life a little sweeter.